DFY IMMERSIVE SALES PAGE COPY
ONCE UPON A TIME,
IN A NOT-SO-FARAWAY LAND,
THERE LIVED A MAGICAL OFFER
UNLIKE ANY OTHER IN THE KINGDOM:
YOUR OFFER.
But Mean MarkeTina grew jealous of its power and cast 3 terrible curses to keep you in line
Now, your offer is invisible, confused, and withering away like every other deja-vú offer in the kingdom.Meanwhile, your princex charming clients are hypnotized and riding off into the sunset with a basic offer instead of with yours.
Bummer.
SPOILER:
Your offer breaks free from the curses, defeats MarkeTina, and claims a grand castle of a sales page.Clients show up, become completely immersed in your Sales Page Story, and fall in love with your offer. Your sales multiply, you start having fun with your business, and everybody remembers your tale.
With Sales Page Story, you get offer positioning, messaging strategy, and done-for-you themed & immersive sales page copy.
Delivered in 4 - 6 Weeks.4 payments of €525
Or pay in full €2,100
“I was able to complete and deliver THREE client projects and bring on another client before my summer sabbatical.
The copy Kal wrote doesn't just describe my offering, it places my audience inside a story where they see themselves, feel seen, and feel called. It's a powerful experience that speaks directly to the people I'm here to serve.”– Emma Porter, Web Witch & Owner of Hex Codes and Woo
MARKETINA’S CURSED WORDS ECHO ACROSS THE KINGDOM AND RING IN YOUR EARS
But Wait... Who Goes There?
It’s your Fairy GOBmother!
MY DEAR!
I’ve spent years searching for you!The prophecy predicts that YOU will defeat Mean MarkeTina and free the kingdom from the poisonous fear that keeps your sales capped as your offer's true brilliance fades.
And I vow to help you do it!
She has bound you with three powerful curses
THE CURSE OF DISAPPEARANCE
Your offer exists in your mind, but not in the world.Just like Cinderella, your magical offer disappears at midnight when the instagram story runs out, its power drained and forgotten.
You scrape yourself dry explaining what you do in DMs over and over again but when clients ask "where can I learn more?", you have nowhere to send them.
THE CURSE OF CONFUSION
You second-guess every word, every decision.Your messaging feels like porridge - too hot, too cold, never just right and ALWAYS bland. Your fingers bleed from endlessly rewriting your copy. You’ve been trapped in perfectionist paralysis for so long that you don’t even remember your own value. You know your offer is special, but you can never find the magic words to express that.
THE CURSE OF IMITATION
Fear has trapped you in a hall of mirrors reflecting the same thing as everyone else.You've mouthing the same words in perfect unison: "I help entrepreneurs scale... I help women find confidence... I help businesses grow..." Your beaming personality has been stripped away, replaced with "proven formulas".You've become invisible in plain sight.
Never fear my dear, Fairy Gobmother is here.
WE’RE GOING TO BREAK THESE CURSES
Only then can we vanquish Mean MarkeTina and build your offer the grand sales page it deserves, where it can reclaim its full power.
WHEN I’M NOT TURNING PUMPKINS INTO CARRIAGES,
I’M JUST KALYL!
Copywriter, messaging strategist, and theatre fairy.
I use nearly 2 decades of theatre-making and 8 years of writing for brands to help you bring more show to your biz, so that your audience starts lining up to grab a seat.Because, who doesn’t love a good show, amiright?!And while I have a devilish amount of fun bringing sales pages back from the dead with my Revival offer, this time, I’m bringing them to LIFE! From scratch.
“The Revival gave me so much clarity it made me realize how much better everything could be if Kalyl wrote more of my copy.”
– Sydney O'Brien
THIS THING YOU'RE READING RIGHT NOW?
IT'S A SALES PAGE STORY!
SO META!
Sales Page Story is a 4-6 week done-for-you strategy, copy, concept and storytelling offer that transforms your sales pitch into an immersive and uniquely memorable experience.
One that gets your readers buying in before you even get to the ‘happily ever after’.That means I’ll create a theme that fits perfectly within your brand world, and brings your offer to life.
FACT:
Research suggests people are up to 22 times more likely to recall facts when they are part of a story.This occurs because stories engage emotions and trigger the release of memory-enhancing neurochemicals like dopamine and oxytocin.Want your readers soaking in dopamine and oxytocin while they read your pitch? Of course you do.Those feel-good chemicals make buying decisions easier, create emotional investment in your offer, and ensure you stay top-of-mind when they're ready to purchase.
HOW DOES THIS WHOLE THING WORK?
HOP ON, I'LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING!
YES. A MAGIC CARPET. MY TINY WINGS CAN'T CARRY US BOTH.
Prologue: The Beginning
You’ll fill in a short interest form and I'll review your offer and business to make sure my storytelling approach is the perfect fit for your goals and audience. Because darling, you’re not for everyone and neither am I.If it looks like a happily ever after, I’ll send you the payment link so you can book your start date.Then, the real fairy tale begins.
Chapter I: The Map
We start with a magical discovery call, followed by an onboarding questionnaire that will help me chart our path. We’ll discuss the offer’s power, identify your ideal clients, and plan your positioning and messaging strategy accordingly.
Chapter II: The Guide
I'll develop your messaging and sales angles to make sure they resonate with your audience and break through MarkeTina's confusion curse.
Chapter III: The Spell
I'll grab my wand, say the magic words, and conjure a theme and concept that fits your brand and breaks the curse of sounding like everyone else. Then, I’ll structure your entire sales page as an immersive narrative that draws clients in, keeps them reading, and finally buying.
Chapter IV: The Castle
You'll receive your first draft to review. Then we'll refine it together over two rounds of feedback until your sales page castle is ready to open its doors, take up space in the real world, and break the curse of disappearance. You can leave feedback directly on the document, or we can get on a call. Or both!
The whole quest will take 4-6 weeks, and by the end, your offer will have everything it needs to defeat MarkeTina once and for all.
You might be beating yourself up and thinking:
"My business is too boring for all this excitement!"
And I can assure you, it’s not.Your industry expects you to show up a certain way. That's exactly why breaking that pattern makes you memorable. When everyone in your space sounds the same, doing something theatrical can be a lifesaver. The theme I create makes logical sense for your brand while giving you the pattern interrupt that makes people stop, pay attention, and remember you exist.A themed sales page doesn’t need to have epic magic battles and dragons flying around.
Unless that fits your brand world.
Your theme comes from researching your audience and brand deeply. I find the story that makes your ideal clients feel instantly connected to what you're selling.
Sometimes that's a simple walk in the woods.
Other times, it's a full-on demonic resurrection ritual.
The results are clear!
“Since working with you,
I’ve had 10 people request to join the waitlist after my launch! That NEVER happens!”– Kristy Black, Brand Designer & Strategist
My clients went from being "bored to tears" by their own offers to genuinely excited about launching. One client was considering retiring their offer entirely before the audit—then told me it "stoked a fire under my ass to show up in ways I thought were long behind me for this offer."Multiple clients discovered they could open their offers to entirely new audiences they hadn't even considered before. That's the power of good positioning. And the creative themes gave clients MONTHS worth of marketing content ideas they're still using today!That's just from an audit where I'm renovating what you already have.Imagine what happens when we build your Sales Page Story from scratch.
READY TO DEFEAT THE 3 CURSE-MASTERS AND ESCAPE MARKETINA'S GRASP?
THE FIRST CURSE: KILL CINDER-HELLA
REFUSE TO BE FORGOTTEN
(Cinder-Hella cackles from the back of the ballroom)Well, well, well... if it isn't another little offer that’s going to vanish at midnight! POOF! Gone forever! You think you deserve a castle? A permanent home? Ha! You'll spend eternity scattered across DMs and disappearing posts while the REAL offers with sales pages get all the attention.
THE SECOND CURSE: SATISFY GOLDILACKS
FIND WORDS THAT ARE JUST RIGHT
(GoldiLacks whispers, screams, then speaks at a regular volume)Too hot! Too cold! Too much! Too little! You'll spend eternity rewriting and second-guessing every single word. You'll die here, paralyzed by your own impossible standards.
THE THIRD CURSE: SHATTER THE MIRROR
SHOW UP AS YOUR TRUE SELF
(The Evil Kween speaks in a thousand voices and reflections in the Hall of Mirrors)Look around you, fool... see yourself reflected endlessly, but.. is it even you?No one can be the fairest when you're all identical!
My mirrors reflect the same generic template over and over until you're just another copy in my endless hall.
THE CURSES ARE BROKEN!
Your offer is awake, confident, and powerful again.
MarkeTina is defeated.Your offer rules from a Sales Page Story castle where it can attract the clients it was always meant to serve, and sells without you having to chase leads or explain yourself a million times.This isn’t your story yet. But it could be.Get complete offer positioning, messaging strategy, and done-for-you immersive sales page copy that’ll have your offer selling happily ever after.Get your Sales Page Story in 4-6 weeks.
Pay in full €2,100
Or 4 payments of €525